Forgiveness
by DripsOfRed
Summary: I sat there sobbing and kept doing just that for who knows how long. I cried for all I was worth. My tears hitting the ground as the rain did outside. I cried for me and the child that would go without a father. The child that I held inside of me. / One-shot. AU. Warning: much angst...


**I feel like a pansycake… I haven't been on FF in FOREVER; even less so in actually writing something… The last time I had** _ **really**_ **been on here was when I was trying(but failing) to write my story** _ **Safe Haven**_ **which was based on the movie** _ **.**_ **I deleted it about several chapters into the story because I had been to taking too long to update each chapter and I was just dragging it on and on. I'm back now with a one-shot to keep myself from being a lazy bum and giving me enough time to choose between the multiple plots I have for a story. I might just end up writing an actual book. Can't wait for that! If it ever happens…**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own the MR characters. James Patterson has all rights. (Obvi…)**

* * *

 _Flashback (3 years ago)_

 _Anxiety. Excitement. Dread. Happiness. An odd mixture of feelings, wasn't it? The negative feelings mixed with the rain pouring outside. I didn't know what to feel anymore. I had to tell him. If I don't, the guilt will slowly kill me unless the stress does first… I thought these things as I slowly paced back and forth for quite some time until I forced myself to call him._

 _Slowly, I inched myself towards where my phone lie on my grey bed. I lowered myself onto the plush surface and reached out my arm for the phone. My hands shook as I unlocked the phone and pressed on the phone symbol. It didn't take me long to find his contact name for it was the first on the list of 'Recents'. I lifted it to my ear as its ominous dialing tone filled my head. I tried to calm my nerves by leveling out my breathing._

 _The phone kept dialing until it stopped. The moment of truth… I opened my mouth to begin with a simple greeting but I was cut off by the voicemail. My mouth shut and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I felt slight embarrassment due to my actions but I batted them away. A couple seconds passed by and then the voice of_ him _filled my hearing. It was his voicemail message._

 _"Hi, this is Fang. Sorry I couldn't get to the phone right now. I would tell you that I would call back but I can't. If this is Max calling, I have something to tell you. I've been deployed up in Germany. I won't be back for another three years. I'm sorry that I'm telling you this over a voicemail message but I'm not allowed to see you before I leave. I'm so,_ so _sorry. I-I didn't ever want to put you through this but it was inevitable. It's going to be a long three years but you can count on me coming to see you as the first thing when I come back. Please take care of yourself while I'm gone." BEEEP._

 _The phone dropped out of my hands. I sank to my knees as my dead eyes focused on the hands over my stomach. My hands. They soon covered my face as a violent sob made its way out of my throat. I sat there sobbing and kept doing just that for who-knows-how-long. I cried for all I was worth. My tears hitting the ground just as the rain did outside. I cried for me and the child that would go without a father. The child that was inside of me…_

 _Flashback End_

* * *

 _Five Years Later…_

I wiped my forehead as a sweatdrop made its way down from my hairline. I continued to scrub at the dishes that held tonight's dinner on it. It was being a stubborn little brat… Great, I was now giving nicknames to food scraps. I'm going insane…

I finished earlier than I had expected. I looked at the clock and it said the current time was _7:51pm_. It was quite early compared to the usual time I got done. I could now officially check off the fact that I'm no longer _that_ lazy. Hooray for me.

"Momma?" The innocent voice of my child. I smiled.

"Yes, Dakota?" I turned and looked at her. I had had a girl. Thank God too…

"Can you come and play with me?" She looked up at me with those beautiful obsidian eyes. They reminded me so much of him… I shook myself out of my reverie.

"Not tonight, love. It's late and I need to give you a bath and put you to bed. I promise to play with you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, momma."

I smiled as she ran off to her room. I made my way up the stairs and went to my bedroom. I quickly changed out of my chore clothes and went to retrieve Dakota.

Giving her a bath was pretty easy but she was _so_ not going to bed. It was probably the chocolate ice cream earlier… A little too much?

"Momma! Momma! Sing a song! Sing! Sing!" she begged.

"But I don't like singing!" I gave her a playful frown.

"Please? Pleeeeaaaaaase?" She was practically on her knees.

"Alright, fine." I caved.

Dakota was quite easy to succumb to snoring after I sang her the flower song from Tangled. She was _out._ There was no way she was waking up… I smiled softly and kissed her forehead. I turned off her lamp and shut the door on my way out.

I leaned on the doorframe and let out a sigh. Another day has passed and I'm still alive. Dakota was keeping me alive.

* * *

*ding-dong*

I frowned. _Who rings the doorbell at this hour? It's already half past eight._ I made my way downstairs and slowly padded to the door. Maybe it's Nudge. She's been having some relationship issues recently… Not surprising.

I slid out the latch and turned the lock. I pressed on the weird pressure-plate thing on the door handle and slid open the door. The person standing there was unexpected.

Fang stood there in all his uniform glory looking no different than the last time I saw him. The handsome face I fell for didn't change a bit. The dark hair, the obsidian eyes, all of it. They were still there. My mouth was slightly open and I felt both anger and happiness at the same time. Anger was pretty dominant though…

"What are you doing here?" I looked him dead in the eyes. He sighed and ran a hand through his long-ish hair.

"I thought you would say that…" His voice had gotten a little deeper. I'm mentally punching myself.

"If you thought I would say it, then why did you come?" I said evenly.

"Max, you know I still care about you!" He tried to reason with me but it wasn't going anywhere.

"I thought you did but then two years passed since the time you promised to come back. You didn't even write anything so sorry if my faith faded a bit in that time!" I couldn't hold it back anymore as I shouted the last part. Tears threatened to spill as I remembered those two years struggling to hold on to that faith. It had gotten weaker and weaker.

"The army had to deploy some men for an emergency somewhere else and they were short so I had to stay. I don't blame you for hating me but the reason why I'm back is to ask for a second cha-"

"Momma?" Fang was interrupted by my- _our_ newly-awoken daughter. I whipped around to see her. She stood at the foot of the stairs staring curiously at the new stranger with her sleep-ridden eyes. I looked back at Fang and saw both shock and pain apparent on his face.

"I see you've moved on…" Anguish was in his voice. It was genuine and it confused what I felt at the moment.

"No. No… I-I-" I broke down just like I had those years ago as my frustration grew stronger. Dakota ran to me in panic as she saw her mother cry. She hugged me and looked angrily at Fang.

"Don't make my mom cry! That's mean!" she scolded. I would've smiled had I not been in tears. She wasn't done though. "Go away! Meanie!"

"Shh, love. It's okay. Come here." I pulled her onto my lap at my place on the floor. I whispered into her ear, "He's your daddy…"

Her eyes widened, anger gone. She looked up at Fang and asked, "You're my daddy?"

His eyes widened too and he looked at me. He searched my eyes just in case I lied or I was pulling some sick joke on him. I couldn't help but give a watery smile.

"She's your child, Fang…" I confirmed.

His back closed the door as he sank to his knees. I'd forgotten we had both been inside the house but left the door open.

"I have a kid…" He lifted his head and looked at Dakota. For some reason, this action set her off. She released me and proceeded to cling onto his neck. If he looked shocked before, he was even more so now.

He was frozen for a moment as he didn't know what exactly was going on but slowly, his arms came up and reciprocated the embrace. They stayed like that for a bit. Dakota pulled back and looked at him closely. I never knew Fang to ever be intimidated but now was the time as a five year old stared into his soul. She was the first to break the silence.

"Why were you gone for so long?" she asked. Her voice was sad. It took some thinking before he answered her.

"Well, I'm a soldier. I had to go away for a little bit to protect other people. I'm sorry I kept you waiting for so long." I felt like the last part was also directed at me. I looked at him but he was too busy smiling at the child in front of him. I wish I had a picture to remember that moment forever.

"It's okay! You're here now. Just don't leave again. Please?" She was close to tears. Mine had dried into tracks awhile ago.

"I can't promise that but I will stay for as long as I can. Okay?" He smiled at her again.

"Okay." She smiled back. She let go of him and turned to hug me again. She yawned and her eyelids threatened to close. I smirked.

"Alright, sleepy. Time to go back to bed." I laughed at her sleepy face.

"I can carry her for you." I looked back at Fang. I still felt angry, it just wasn't as strong; it was just sadness and a little bit of remorse. I couldn't keep him from his own daughter though.

"Her name's Dakota. And sure, you can carry her."

He took her from my arms and motioned with his head to lead the way. He followed me up the steps and to her bedroom. He laid her gently down on her bed and straightened. We both stood out in the hall silently. He broke it.

"She looks so much like you." He whispered.

I shook my head and tears reappeared. I looked up at him, "Yet, every time I see her, she reminds me of you."

He took this opportunity to pull me into his arms. I struggled for a bit but I gave up due to exhaustion. He wasn't letting go and he knew that I knew it.

"Look you have to believe me. I tried to reason with them to let me leave but they wouldn't let me go. If I had known about Dakota…" He trailed off. I moved my head up to look at him

Tears still leaking, I looked over his face searching for lies. I found none. Sighing, I put my head back on his chest. I whispered, "You missed five years of her life. Five years without a father. Do you know what that does to a child? I almost cried every time I saw her struggle to keep her chin up when she was the only one at school without a dad. I couldn't cry because what good does it do when a mother cannot comfort her child? She has to pay the price for the mistake a stupid eighteen year old made with a man a _year_ older than her…"

"I don't think that night was a mistake and I sure as heck don't think she's a mistake. I can tell that she loves you and loves being with you every day. Something I wished for every day I was in a foreign country." He confessed this with glassy eyes.

"Liar…" Silence passed and we just stood there. I heard quiet *pit-pat* sounds as something hit the floor. It continued until I felt something wet land on my shoulder. My eyes widened in dismay as I realized Fang was crying.

"Please don't say I'm lying. I'm not…" The tears kept coming as he looked me in the eyes.

I looked at him and guilt was something else I felt. I reached up and used both my thumbs to wipe the tears from his cheeks. He had closed his eyes. For some reason, a force compelled me to tilt my head up and kiss the tears from both of his closed eyes.

"I won't."

He opened his eyes and we looked at each other for a few moments. He did something I never would have dared to do. He kissed me. It was loving and gentle but also short. We broke away a couple seconds later.

"I love you…" He stared at me and said it with everything he had. I felt the sadness, pain, guilt and love he had bottled up inside for all those years. And they were for me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he replaced his arms around my waist.

"Would you believe it if I said I love you too?" I looked at him with a teasing but curious gaze.

"You know, I just might." He kissed me again and this time, I kissed him back.

At this moment, all I had for him was forgiveness. No anger or remorse. Just…

 _Forgiveness_.

* * *

 **So that was my angst/romance one-shot. How was it? By the way, if there is anyone reading this and become a bit offended somehow over the military part, I apologize. It was not intended to be… whatever it did to offend you.**

 **I should be back with a new story soon enough so look out for that. Please R &R and thank you for reading this. Deuces!**

 **-Red**


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